Here are some favorite quotes I've collected. Enjoy!

It's better to look good than to feel good, and darling, you look marvelous Billy Crystal as Fernando Lamas 


In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends. John Churton Collins 
I had a wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. Groucho Marx 

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. Andre Gide

Not only is the universe stranger than we imagine, it is stranger than we can imagine. Sir Arthur Eddington 

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.Woody Allen, Comedian

More than any time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to choose correctly. - Woody Allen, Comedian 

After making love I said to my girl "Was it good for you too?", and she said "I don't think this was good for anybody". Gary Shandling, Comedian

Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you. Roger Ebert, Film Critic

 In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. John Adams, President

No man has ever listened himself out of a job. Calvin Coolidge, President

The price one pays for pursuing any profession or calling is an intimate knowledge of its ugly side.   James Baldwin, Author

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. Orson Welles, Director

I am at two with nature. Woody Allen, Director

Setting a good example for children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather, Author

Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children. - Sam Levenson, Author

Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we'll find it. - Sam Levenson, Author

When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want? - Sam Levenson, Author

The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. - Sam Levenson, Author

The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side. Hunter S. Thompson

The summer night is like a perfection of thought. Wallace Stevens

Babies don't need vacations, but I still see them at the beach. Steven Wright, Comedian

Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by incompetence. Napoleon Bonaparte

I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered. George Best, Soccer Star

Enjoy every sandwich. Warren Zevon,  (Dying) Rock 'n Roller

One reason why the rest of the world hates the USA: "Last year for the first time, we launched Easter. And we will be developing that product." Jeffrey Speed, CFO, EuroDisney

One task carried to a successful conclusion is worth half-a-hundred half-finished tasks. Malcom Forbes, Publisher

Few things help an individual more than to place responsibility upon him, and to let him know that you trust him. Booker T. Washington, educator

The trick is growing up without growing old. Casey Stengal, baseball player, manager

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. Albert Einstein

There are many truths of which the full meaning cannot be realized until personal experience has brought it home. John Stuart Mill, economist, philosopher

I never met a man so ignorant that I couldn't learn something from him. Galileo Galilei, astronomer, mathematician

There is something sick about a person whose only interest is money. And the same can be said, I think, for the company whose sole goal is profit. Richard Haayden, Chairman, Allstate Insurance Co.

The torment of precautions often exceeds the dangers to be avoided. Napoleon Bonaparte

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Robert Brault, Writer

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home. Ken Olson, founder Digital Equipment Corp.

I'd rather be dead that singing "Satisfaction" when I'm 45. Mick Jagger

An extravagance is anything you buy that is of no earthly use to your wife. Franklin P. Adams

Hope, purpose and determination are not merely mental states. They have electrochemical connections that affect the immune system. Norman Cousins, Writer

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have, which once you have got it you may be smart enough to see is what you would have wanted had you known. Garrison Keillor, Author

Sometimes I think we're alone. Sometimes I think we're not. In either case, the thought is staggering. Richard Buckminster Fuller

The first step to getting what you want out of life is this: Decide what you want. Ben Stein, Entertainer

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? Satchel Paige, Baseball Player

I understand why some American companies fail to gain the loyalty and dedication of their employees. Employees cannot care for an employer who is prepared to take their livelihood away at the first sign of trouble. Sadami Wada, Sony

Pay your people the least possible and you'll get from them the same. Malcom Forbes

First-rate people hire first-rate people; second-rate people hire third-rate people. Leo Rosten, writer

You've got to be very careful if you don't know where you are going, because you might not get there. Yogi Berra

Silence is not always a sign of wisdom, but babbling is ever a mark of folly. Benjamin Franklin

You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever. Larry Anderson, Baseball Player

Most people are about as happy as they make their minds up to be. Abraham Lincoln

The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions, and not our circumstances. - Martha Washington

There are two things to aim for in life: first, to get what you want; and, after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second. - Logan Pearsall Smith, British Essayist

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. - Mark Twain

Executives who get there and stay suggest solutions when they present the problems. - Malcolm Forbes

Up sluggard, and waste not life. In the grave will be sleeping enough. - Benjamin Franklin

or.... I'll sleep when I'm dead. Warren Zevon

Put yourself in a position where you are making choices about your life, rather than letting others make those choices for you. That's what balance is all about. - Liz Dolan, Radio Talk Show Host

You can learn new things at any time in your life if you're willing to be a beginner. If you actually learn to like being a beginner, the whole world opens up to you. - Barbara Sher, Writer

The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool. - William Shakespeare

Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do. - Pope John XXIII

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page. - St. Augustine

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness, all foes to real understanding. Likewise, tolerance, or broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in our little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. - Mark Twain

To overcome difficulties is to experience the full delight of existence. - Arthur Schopenhauer, philosopher

If money is your hope for independence, you will never have it. The only real security than a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience and ability. - Henry Ford

There is more to life than increasing its speed. - Mohandas Ghandi

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. - Adlai Stevenson, politician

Success seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit. Conrad Hilton

Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success. - Louisa May Alcott, novelist

Commit yourself to a dream... Nobody who tries to do something great but fails is a total failure. Why? Because he can always rest assured that he succeeded in life's most important battle: He defeated the fear of trying. - Robert Schuller, clergyman

To be frugal means to have a high joy-to-stuff ratio. If you get one unit of joy from each material possession, that's frugal. But if you need 10 possessions to even begin registering on the joy meter, you're missing the point of being alive. - Joe Dominguez, author

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. - Mark Twain

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen. - Ernest Hemmingway

Worry is a form of fear. It is a realization of inadequacy, which is in turn the byproduct of lack of time to think through confidently to sound objectives and good plans. - Ralph Cordiner, former president, General Electric

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun. - Katharine Hepburn

The way to get things done is to not mind who gets credit for doing them. - Ronald Reagan

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit. - Pliny the Younger, writer and statesman

Have more than thou showest, speak less than thou knowest. - William Shakespeare

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing. - Abraham Lincoln

Happiness doesn't depend on who you are or what you have. It depends solely on what you think. - Dale Carnegie

Don't tell me how hard you work. Tell me how much you get done. - James Ling, executive

Never mistake motion for action. - Ernest Hemmingway

The last advance of reason is to recognize that it is surpassed by innumerable things; it is feeble if it cannot realize that. - Blaise Pascal, mathematician, philosopher

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. - Will Rogers

Everyone has his burden. What counts is how you carry it. - Merle Miller, writer

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. - Leonardo Da Vinci

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one. - Mark Twain

 I always try to use caution when I say it can't get any worse. - Mike Piazza May 2002

 It can't get any worse than last year. - Mike Piazza February 2003

 Life is the sum of all your choices. Albert Camus, Novelist

There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning. Christopher Morley, writer

What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens. Benjamin Disraeli, British Prime Minister

I miss all the shots I don't take. Wayne Gretzky

This report, by its very length, defends itself against the risk of being read. Winston Churchill